I made up a little list of what Microsoft would have to pay me for the following items (costs in USD):

Run around with a Microsoft T-shirt for 1 day: $1,000

Tatoo for 1 year on my arm: $70,000 + cost of laser removal of tatoo

Run around with Microsoft T-shirt for 1 week (new one each day): $5,000 + $10 for lots of soap to get that smell yuckiness off of me

To insert the word ‘Microsoft’ into every conversation I participate in for 1 month: $50,000

To only say the word ‘Microsoft’ for 1 day: $1,000

To only say the word ‘Microsoft’ for 1 week: $10,000

My Soul: every single share in the company

To work on a Microsoft project: $1,000 per week + moving expenses + help with getting housing (check my resume out)